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Many had trouble recalling specific incidents — the stress of their sexual lives perhaps leading them to repress their memories.

His head feels like it’s on fire, swirling with a toxic brew of guilt and longing. Gathering them in his hands, he darts quickly out of the light of the front entrance, into the dim corridors of the bathhouse. He can make out the forms of men loitering in the halls, naked to the waist, clad only in snug bath ­towels.They pad along in bare feet, flitting through the shadows like figures in a barely remembered dream.Their faces are obscured, but their presence registers in the tremors of blood pounding through John’s veins.ZIPPERING HIS COAT, John leaves the nondescript office building where he works as a computer systems specialist and begins the walk of shame toward 13th Street, his hands shoved deep inside his pockets. He crosses Broad Street with long strides, follows Locust to 13th, then takes a left. The walk takes 10 minutes, but feels a lot longer to him given what he’s about to do. In the old days single people were looked upon as outcasts of society... Meet Senior Singles at e Harmony - It can be difficult to meet other single seniors with whom you share common interests, goals, and backgrounds within your geographical area.

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The center also hosts biweekly meetings of the local chapter of the Gay and Married Men’s Association, a peer support group for men like John.

Googling “gay married men” on the Internet yields some 25,000 hits. In 2006, during America’s brief fascination with reported that an estimated 1.6 percent of the country’s married men — more than 400,000 in all — identified themselves as gay or bisexual.

If the man doesn’t look away, a bargain has been struck — a silent pact to have sex. Sometimes he overhears the boy telling gay jokes or making gay slurs. He fits his key in the front-door lock to find his wife inside. He busies himself with the rituals of arriving home. And in time, he drifts into sleep — a state of being far easier to face than his waking life.

He glances around, looking for a man like those he grew up with. IT’S DIFFICULT TO ascertain how many men are in John’s position, gay men hiding in “straight” lives of suburban split-­levels, SUVs and parent/teacher nights.

What people want in their 50s, 60s and beyond is often very different from what they wanted in their 30s and 40s, let alone their 20s.