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She pointed out:"You're using what is available to you to get what you want.Men do the same thing, but they get more opportunity because of their privilege.
Of course, these tactics have their place in any power dynamic.But only once you've explicitly discussed your needs, desires, and expectations, and established boundaries and consent.And these vital concepts in power play were completely glossed over at the Sugar Baby Summit in a misguided effort to make the Sugar lifestyle seem "accessible" and "mainstream."For example, representatives from the website constantly obsessed over how the site was kept "PG." It was very clearly their intent to de-stigmatize Sugaring, and bring it into the light as a fun, exciting, sexy way to play, away from the shady taboos that are often associated with it.Sugaring can absolutely be a feminist act when performed by women who own their sexuality and are up-front about their needs and expectations.And Seeking seemed committed to reinforcing this idea, making clear that there is nothing inherently anti-feminist about becoming a Sugar Baby.Those were followed by a masquerade-themed mixer, where SBs could practice their newly honed skills on a club full of SDs (and oh was that whole soirée delightful).
The Sugar Baby Lifestyle gets a lot of flack for being anti-feminist, patriarchal, or simply glorified sex work.
Sugar Baby mentality is the same as alpha male mentality — you have ambition, you're dreaming for more.""I feel like such a lady boss," veteran Sugar Baby Chelsea Ridenour tells the crowd during one seminar.
"It's about looking for what you want, knowing your boundaries, being smart, going after what you want."There are plenty of women who live both as Sugar Babies and as active feminists — the two are not mutually exclusive.
But we like to garner a lot of media interest, and unfortunately only gay outlets are usually interested in gay events. Society kind of dictates that there wouldn't be very many Sugar Mommies, just because of gender roles, and how men are usually the provider, and it's kind of weird for a woman to be in [the Mommy] role, and it's kind of weird for a man to be in [the Sugar Baby] role.
And while that would be great, we get [the gay outlets covering us] anyway. I appreciate that Seeking is a business trying to turn a profit, and so the cogs of capitalism are going to be turning here.
Seeking seems like a natural place to go if you're a Fi-Dom (financial Dom/me, controlling the finances of your submissive) or a pay pig (the submissive moneybags who gets off on relinquishing power over their financial assets to a Fi-Dom).